Before exams

I decided that I would definitely fuck her. Suddenly I will attack from behind, knock on the grass and fuck, and no one will see us: it is always empty here. Nearby is just the railway, the path from the bus stop, on which almost no one walks at this time of the day, then – a forest belt, and even further – an oil depot. Soon I have exams for the eighth grade. Classes ended two days ago – a few days earlier than usual so that we could start preparing for the exams. After the last lesson, I went to the Soyuzpechat kiosk and bought the first pack of cigarettes in my life – Stolichnye for forty kopecks. Before, I never had my own cigarettes, I only smoked if someone gave me a treat. The aunt at the kiosk looked at me, but said nothing, took a penny and gave a pack. Then I bought matches in the deli, sat on a bench in the courtyard of the 171st house – in which the bookstore – and lit a cigarette.

Every day in the morning I take a bicycle on the balcony, lower it from the third floor on my shoulder, sit down, drive through several streets – and the city ends. Fields, a railway, a forest belt and paths begin, along which I drive for hours – just because there is nothing to do. Sometimes I stop, take out my cigarettes, throw my bike into the grass, sit down and smoke.

Yesterday she walked along the path in front of me in the direction of “Abyssinia” – these are several village houses that stick out for some unknown reason between the outskirts of the city and the nearest village of Zakurovka, which is two kilometers away. There is no transport there, and they go there on foot from the bus stop. I said to her: “Girl, can you find a smoke?” just to say something. To get acquainted. I didn’t give a damn that she was a year or two older, and on me – a dirty blue shirt, sneakers and “sports” woolen pants – a little faded, with elongated knees, and long “family” underpants stand out under them.

– No, I don not smoke.

– It’s bad that you don’t smoke.

– Are we already on the “you”?

– Well, yes, probably.

– So, boy, what can I tell you: you would rather sit on your own bike and get out of here, otherwise my boyfriend will meet me and he will figure it out with you.

“No guy meets you.”

– How do you know?

– From a camel.

– Well, now, already rude.

– Nobody is rude to you.

– What is it called then?

– It’s not called in any way.

“Well, okay boy, you better really leave.

And I left.

But today, when she comes here again, I will show her both the “boy” and “the guy” and everything else. I hid and wait for her under the bridge: there is a hole in the railway embankment, and the path to the “Abyssinia” passes right under the rails. I would suddenly attack so that she didn’t have time to understand anything, I immediately dragged her out from under the bridge — don’t fuck her on stones, I’ll tumble down the mound and make sure you have to buy their their seo products — there is grass, I will tear my dress, I’ll rip my underpants — and she will know how to laugh at me, she will understand that I can do something too.

A year ago, we rode bicycles together with the Bull, not just outside the city, but near the Builders Street, where there are many one-story wooden houses and a descent to the river. Classmates, Zelenova and Boyko live there, and we met them there once, and Byk came to Zelenova, and she called him “fat man” and ran, and he caught up with her and caught her and hit her several times with his fist – not hard, but so as to put there’s a bruise on the shoulder “for memory”. But Boyko did not call me names and didn’t say anything at all, she just smiled, as if my face was funny or the snot sticks out of my nose. And I tell her:

– What are you laughing at?

– Nothing, it’s that simple.

And once Bull and I drove down to Vonyuchka – this is the name of the river, because all the muck from the chemical plant is poured into it – and there some aunt came up to us and said:

– Boys, give me a ride to the river.

She sat on the trunk to me, and I drove her, and the Bull rode by and grinned.

She was heavy, fat-ass – I barely drove her. I jumped from the trunk – “Thank you.” And that’s all. And the Bull says:

– It’s Ninka, whore. Don’t you know her? I had to say: I’ll take you there, just pay, let’s do it in kind.

“Why didn’t you say it yourself?”

– Okay, just kidding. There, probably, the fucker is waiting in the bushes.

And at the end of the summer, – I was not in the city then, my parents and I went to rest on the Sea of ​​Azov – the Bull got into a car on a bicycle, and his spine was broken or something else – I don’t know for sure. But now he cannot walk, only lies on the bed. Teachers go to his house, and sometimes I come too. He learns to play the guitar and sings all sorts of thieves to me. Some I like and some I don’t. Byk says that he will undergo surgery in Moscow, and he will be able to walk and even ride a bike again.

I peep out from behind the embankment, wait for it to appear, but it still does not exist. A bad man in a black tracksuit and sneakers is running across the field in the distance. I know him, he lives in our area. He is schizophrenic and receives a pension, and he has a “white ticket”: he can kill someone, and he will have nothing. He can kill me now, but I will not give in: I will kick him in the balls, get on a bicycle and leave – dick he will catch up with me, even though he runs every day. My palms are sweating and something is twitching in my stomach, and I want to shit. I’m worried like a kid who came to the switch and doesn’t know if she will come or not. there was no normal arrow, that is, there was no one at all. Some guys in the class have long been going to the arrows and all that, for example Yushchenko. He even in class does not lose time. He was put with Khmelnitskaya, on the last desk, and when you don’t look

And last summer, the Bull and I often went to the places where Zelenova and Boyko live, and once we met them again, and the Bull told them – they went to the Stinker to sunbathe, like, we’ll give you a ride – on the trunk or on the frame, as you want. And they looked at each other and whispered and then said: “No, reluctance.” She was smartly in a light dress, so tight-fitting, and her chest was visible – real, round, like an adult woman. And Zelenova still had almost nothing, but the Bull still ran after her for some reason.

Fuck, she’s all gone. Where can she be? Today it was raining, and now it’s not very hot. I’m in the same T-shirt, and already starting to freeze. Maybe she won’t go here today? Or has it already passed? And why did I even decide that she walks here every day at this time?

I get on my bike and drive to the forest belt. Snails crunch under the wheels – for some reason, after the rain, they crawled out onto the road. Usually on the edge of the forest belt, on the grass, men from the oil depot sit and thump after work, but today they are not there, probably because of the rain.

I dismount my bike, throw it onto the wet grass, and walk a few steps away from the path. Piss, then I start jerking off. Drops of water are falling from the branches of a tree on my neck and head. I finish and the little girl splashes on the black wet bark of a tree and hangs on it like snot. I go back to the bike, take out cigarettes and matches from the holster, light up. There are two cigarettes left in the pack.